Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
