i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
