The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
