so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
