ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
