Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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