my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
