dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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