I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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