I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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