Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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