Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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