Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
