She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
