after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
