I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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