Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
