Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
