I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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