If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
