I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
