it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
