you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
