DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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