If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
