I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
