Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
