I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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