I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
