Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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