I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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