im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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