Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
