so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize