It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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