Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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