went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My life is pants optional.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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