Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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