More tranny stories later!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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