we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
