It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize