You're so nebulous sometimes
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
