but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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