I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
