Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
