Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
