Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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