I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
