check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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