You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
