If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize