There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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