8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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