Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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