you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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