I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
