Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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