If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
