i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
