That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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