Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
